When I was in third grade, a new student joined our class in the middle of the year. I was assigned by the teacher to be her “buddy” and show her around. I was so honored! I was the student that was always in trouble, so to be given trust and responsibility was a big deal for me. And as a bonus, I got a new friend! Then after a few weeks, I was told that they were going to assign her a new “buddy”. I was so crushed and cried so hard. After all, they had given me a friend, and then they took her away. I felt ashamed because I couldn’t control my emotions in class, and so embarrassed that everyone was watching as this happened. That wasn’t my first or last time crying in class. I always felt lacking and misunderstood. Even typing this now is bringing forth tears.
But we remained good friends anyways during the few years she went to that school and her family made an impact on me in many ways. Although it appeared to me that they gave me something and then took it away, nothing was really lost.
This has happened to all of us in different scenarios throughout or lives. We buy a new phone, and lose it the next day. We receive a job offer or promotion that then has to be rescinded. You think you found the house of your dreams, and then the seller changes their mind about moving. We use these situations as a measuring stick to help us see how much we’ve grown and matured based on how we react. I’m proud to say that as I was faced with these circumstances during my life journey, I would see it with understanding, even if I momentarily felt the pang of disappointment in my heart. “It’s just not meant for me” was the phrase that boosted my spirits. And I knew it to be true. I am divinely guided, and my true destiny will present itself. I do not regret any door that has ever been closed on me. But the little girl in me still felt that pain, while the big girl in me held her head high.
This week, I reached a new level of mastery. Something that I wanted very much had been handed to me. There’s not much in this world that I want, but this was a place of honor, trust, responsibility, and esteem within my mind (I can hear all of you now saying “That’s your ego talking”). I took the time to savor the feeling of receiving it, and gave thanks to my galactic family for the gift. Five hours later, I was notified that there had been a mistake. This time, there was zero sense of disappointment or loss. I felt the gracefulness of flowing easily with all that happens around me. In my mind, I got to enjoy that moment of receiving. And if it is meant to be, I will get to enjoy that moment a second time. After all, people say the receiving is more joyous than the having, and perhaps that is true.
My Marconic journey has been amazing. This moment is part of that journey. I see how I have grown- though that doesn’t feel like the right word. It’s more like, I see how I have stepped out of my own way. I’ve shed engrained programs and reactions that felt false. I stand in my power, and no one can budge me. I recognize that if someone can rattle me, it is showing me a part that needs healing or releasing. I flow. I am present. I am aware. I am sovereign.
I feel I need to share my Marconic journey/transformation. But that is for another blog entry.
Written by: Elizabeth DiPace
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